I have written lots of songs and keep writing more. Here is a list of some of my most popular songs:

  • A Sprout is Not Only for Christmas
    Campaign to reclaim the reputation of the Brussels sprout [Buy on iTunes]
  • Alistair, Darling
    A tribute to the former chancellor
  • Alan
    Love song about pocket-sized gardening guru Alan Titchmarsh. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Calgon
    A song about love and the power of advertising. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Camerap
    David Cameron tells it like it is. [Watch on YouTube]
  • Cash Machine
    Romance and banking combine in this 50s-style ditty. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Cauliflower
    A plea to get people to stop serving raw cauliflower as a party nibble. It’s evil and wrong.
  • Daniel Don’t Like Veg
    Tribute to a veg-hating friend. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Dr Moo
    Story of a time-travelling cow. [Watch on YouTube]
  • Evil Twin
    Song about the dangers of alcohol.
  • Gordon
    Unrequited love for a traffic warden. [Buy on iTunes]
  • He’s the Only Fuhrer
    Song about a misguided woman who has fallen for Hitler – inspired by the real-life plight of Unity Mitford. [Buy on iTunes]
  • It’s Not Easy Being a Lib Dem
    About the Liberal Democrats – before they were famous.
  • Join the Club
    Why being single is great, featuring famous singletons throughout history.
  • Lesu’s
    Song about a new Saviour for all man and womankind.
  • Man on Park Patrol
    Unrequited love for a park patrol officer.
  • Meet Me Under the Mistletoe
    Christmassy song about rebuffing unwanted advances.
  • Mobility World
    A tribute to the shop at the end of my road, which sells wheelchairs and Zimmer frames. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Mr M
    Song about a nasty man I met on the London Underground. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Neighbours
    Why can’t Neighbours be nicer?
  • New Year Song (Lots of Lovely Boys to Kiss)
    My hopes for the New Year.
  • PC-S-O-S
    An unsatisfactory boyfriend who’s a police community support officer. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Pepper Grinder
    The perils of dining out in Italian restaurants. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Quantum Chemistry
    A song about dating a quantum physicist.
  • Serial Killer (With a Heart of Gold)
    A misunderstood serial killer, who just wants to be loved.
  • Shit Olympics
    A somewhat pessimistic song about the London 2012 Olympics.
  • Shove Off John
    Wishing an annoying allotment Neighbour would go away. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Slug Rap
    Rap about all gardeners’ worst enemy.
  • Small Instrument
    About liking men who play the ukulele.
  • Song for my Stalker
    When love turns to obsession.
  • Special Wombat Song
    Desperately wanting to see a wombat in Australia. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Steiner Song
    A tribute to Steiner school education.
  • Tea For One
    About being single.
  • To Whoever Stole My Giant Marrow
    Cautionary tale about a marrow thief. [Buy on iTunes]
  • Tony
    Secretly wishing Tony Blair was PM again.
  • Too Many Men
    So many men, so little time.
  • Torn Between Two Brothers
    Ed or David Miliband? Too hard to decide.
  • Wedding Song (You Can’t Have Fun When You’re Married)
    Celebration of marriage (sort of). [Buy on iTunes]
  • Why I Hate the French
    About being jealous of the French (I don’t really hate them). [Buy on iTunes]
  • U!
    Why I love ukuleles.
  • Ukulele Christmas
    Jolly uke-themed Christmas song.